My Head vs. My Heart

Rushing out of the subway station on my way to school to do some work and I see a group guys. They looked like brothers.

They were beautiful....

I couldn't stop looking. Head turning in one direction and feet moving in the other.

My head is saying: "I need to get to school. 

But my heart is saying" "No! I should talk to them and ask if I can take pictures of them. All I need to say is: 'Hi! I'm an aspiring photographer and I write a blog. I think you guys are very good looking (cuz I don't think guys like to be called beautiful) and I would really like to take some portraits of you. I'll post them on the blog and you can feel free to take them and use them if you want...'

"nooooooo get out of this station and get to school"

"But I need to take pictures of the beauty in front of me"

"You need to sew!!! That shift dress won't be constructed on its own!"

"It would only take like 5 minutes. Besides, I always stop and take pictures of still life... why not people. I want to do people!!!!"

"SEW!!"

"PICTURE!!!"

"Shift dress!!"

"Portraits!!!"

They probably noticed me staring...

They probably saw me walking slow...

But, my head won and as I pinned my peter pan collar onto the facing of my dress, I imagined a beautiful black and white candid of the brothers...

Well...

Maybe next time. Because I really want to do portraits!!

So Hot

Just one of those nights...

Been in school till close every day this week.... Thats anywhere between 12 -16 hours....

and yet... time just flies by without a care in the world.

So its 12:38 on a Saturday night, I'll be in school bright and early tomorrow morning so I decided I might as well take some form of a break and have some "me" time tonight.

And what am I doing with my "me" time?

Designing......

I can't help it. I love it too much.

Well I just watched the Time Travelers Wife (recommended by my dad) and it was pretty beautiful. I really liked it. I like the contrast in colors and the motion in the way it was shot. The happy times and the sad times.... It all led to a beautiful ending.

And then, I found this AMAZING photo shoot:

The Shoot is called "So Hot"

Photographer: Eduardo Rezende
Date: March, 2010
Model: Yarislova Kosikova
Stylist: Ciro Midena
Art Director: Daniel Burman

What an appropriate title. I love the lighting. It all looks so simple but the textures are so prominent and brilliant. I especially like the second photo. The way the sun reflects on the dress;  the way the softer texture of the rock she's climbing gives the dress more of an edge; and then that blue sky to complement the warmth of the sun....

There is just so much you can do with fabric and textures! Its amazing.

Love it!!!

Such inspiration!!

People are Important

You never know how much you can affect others

So...

Be careful

Because

People are important

And...

To the most beautiful person in the world

I only want to be good to you...

Mi Vida

Toughest Period of my Life

But...

The Most Beautiful

Unless I Tell...

I guess you'll never know how much I like you, care about you, admire you

Unless I tell you...

(Love and Cobain. I like this pic...)

Morning Run

Today I ran across the Williamsburg bridge and it was awesome! Sun shining in my face, light breeze and beautiful view of the water....

Glad I got up today to run instead of getting that extra hour and a half of sleep!!

The Butterflies

But I no longer care for the butterflies

I don't want them...

In The Moment

I've been spending some time reading these days.  Reading articles, blogs, short stories, news... basically anything short I can get my hands on while I take breaks from work.

Its been great...

There is just so much out there. I know we hear this phrase all the time, but sometimes we really do need to stop and think about it.

Today was basically reading a lot on Oprah's website (she has some great articles), and an old high school classmate's blog. 

And today's lesson is: Living in the present.

As in, living in the right now, this instant, this moment, this breath I'm taking, this computer screen I'm staring at, these gummies I'm munching on (and I really shouldn't be...)

And I'm not promoting irresponsible behavior and living like you will live forever, but I have to admit, sometimes I'm just not there and I'm sure a lot of us are guilty of this. I mean, I'm baking cookies and brownies with two lovely kids and I'm thinking about homework; I'm thinking about waking up early to go to the gym; 'm thinking of how he hurt me; I'm thinking of eating the cookies and the calories that come with it; I'm thinking of work the next day; I'm thinking of old friends I miss; I'm thinking of finding a new apt; I'm thinking of it all....

And after my readings, including a powerful blog post about my classmate's best friend loosing her life, I decided I need to live in the moment.

A related aside:

I have to admit, I get pretty frustrated by the crowds in this city. I don't like slow walkers and I don't like people being in my way. Being that today is St. Patrick's day, it was pretty impossible to avoid the sea of drunken green in my way....

Walking to school, trying to maneuver the crowd and avoid getting cigarette smoke blown in my face, I was ready to start pushing drunken strangers out of my way.

Then I see an old lady in a wheelchair...

She kept having to stop in the middle of the street to avoid getting run into. See the thing about this city is that people NEVER move out of your way. You could be carrying three suitcases and a baby and the person walking towards you will expect you to move out of their way. And that's what this poor lady was having to deal with.

Just watching her patience calmed me down...

And I was grateful that I had the ability to actually walk

So its the end of the day and I decided to do an experiment

I'm going to live in the moment. Starting tomorrow morning, I'm going to make a very conscious effort to just be in the now

And that means:

Move through my day doing what I need to do and just be in that moment. It means  that breakfast in the morning won't be rushed but will be me with my cheerios and the morning sun. It means that as I'm draping my shift dress, I'm not thinking about patterning, I'm not thinking about how long its taking me; I'm not thinking about the building closing; and I'm not thinking about class on Monday. Instead, I'll just be there - smoothing the muslin over the dress form, creating darts and pleats, marking and cutting and appreciating that exact moment

So thats my challenge for tomorrow. Just living in the now...

Lilies

Its Spring Break!!!

Yay!!!!

Spring break to me means more time to do all my work. So I'm here in NY working working working my life away.

So... I have been working on a Seurat inspired painting. I'm not the greatest painter in the world but I'd like to think I'm getting there.

I have to admit, I had fun working on this one. There's no pressure cuz its Monday night and I don't have classes all week. So I put some good music on and painted away.

Although I'm not a Pandora fan, I put it on and chose a Lily Allen station and I must say, Lily Allen type music is the BEST for painting. It's just so calm and soft. It takes you away on the sweetest escape where it is just you, the brushes, the pigments, the water color paper, the guitar, the keyboard, the tambourine....

I love it

So here are some images I have so far

The Inspiration..

Thumbnails/Color Testing

Mixing, Mixing, Mixing

Progress so far...

Close up...

I decided to pause for the night so I can continue with a refreshed mind tomorrow and be better able to catch details I may have missed...

It's 2am and I should probably sleep...

What I Want

I want to be embraced in warmth forever
And I don't think that's too much to ask...

Just Wondering

I just wonder
Do you ever
Think of me
Anymore...

How much do people change. Whats the time span? Could you change so much that the things you loved just don't mean anything anymore?

"I don't want us to grow apart
I want us to grow together..."

How do you know when to be strong and when to let go? When to carry on with your front or when to just bear your soul and put yourself out there??

How.do.you.sleep.at.night.knowing.you've.hurt.someone.a.lot.someone.you.used.to.care.about.a.lot.how?

A Sort of Fairytale

You just have to stop and think of how blessed you are every now and then...

I spent some time tonight talking to a 9/11 survivor.

She told me her whole story and it was so vivid and touching I had to try hard to hold back the tears. 50 people were with her and only 5 made it out of the building alive and of those 5, only 2 made to the hospital....

She was truly blessed to have survived such a traumatic experience and now she is just blessing the lives of those around her (including me). The sweetest lady ever. So glad I met her.

How do you really get over a traumatic experience? How do you really make sense of it all? I can't say I know the definite answer but I do know this: There is evil in this world, but every disappointment leads to a blessing.

A blessing for you and a blessing for someone else

And that's how we inspire each other

Because, what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger and wiser

Like a sort of fairytale,

Joy comes in the morning

Life,

It's something else...

Femme Fatal

Femme Fatal

Inspiration for my couture collection

3 things:

Priceless

Cycle

Breathtaking.

First is Priceless:

After all the frustration,

trying to figure out why my pocket bag did not match up with my center front.

Or why my J stitch just wasn't looking right

or what happened to my notches...

after all that

I look to see that its all coming together. And thats what its all about I guess. Because nothing good comes easy, so you've got to work your butt off!

I'm obsessed with beautiful things and although it takes a LOOOONG time and a lot of frustration to create, seeing your vision come together...

priceless....

so considering the fact that I'm getting at total of zero hours of sleep between now and wednesday.... I'm sure hoping my vision comes together nicely!

Next, The Cycle:

I hurt you

So you hurt me back

I'm scorned

So I hurt him

He's bitter

And hurts her

She's through

Tries to move on

Doesn't mean to

But ends up hurting him

So he hurts her back...

So the cycle goes. Till someone decides to end it...

Then, Breathtaking:

Fell in love again today...

I met him at the Moma while trying to quickly rush through my color theory assignment so I could head over to the studio to sew my life away...

I rushed through the rooms, trying to make my way past the crowd (never go to the Moma on a weekend...) and there he was

He

.

Took

.

My

.

Breath

.

Away...

His name: Georges Seurat

His use of the science of color to create something so breathtaking and emotional....

amazing.

Up close it looks like a jumbled mess of dots and color but the colors harmonize in such a way that each color brings out something in the next. And then when you step aside and examine at a distance, the lighting and color and shading all come out. It's gentle....It's not a color riot, its a harmony and it is totally beautiful.

So I fell in love today and it was great!

Fly

Today, I met someone new.

I spent the whole day at the studio working working away and right before it closed, I was introduced to him...

It was only about 8 minutes or so but he made me so happy. And although it was a kinda frustrating day with machines breaking down while I was trying to finish making my pants..

And although I had a million and three more things to do...

I left the studio happy...

He made me happy.

His name: Devendra Banhart.

The songs: 'Baby' and 'Lover'

It's happy music for free people, if that makes sense. Lol. It gives you this sense of calm and peace. Some kind of high. Like some secret place where the world is just right.

Devendra

.

makes

.

you

.

Fly

Time and I

It's Friday....

and that means, one day closer to Monday.

Which means,

One day closer to Tuesday....

Why does it move so fast?

Time and I...

we are mos def beefing...

Because I need at least 10 more hours each day so I can get all this work done!!!

How to Let Go

Don't Think

.
Just
.
Pray



i call that letting go...